Oh my dears, I have thought about you a lot lately. I, once again, must apologize for the neglect. Now you know how my family feels.
So what the hell? You may ask…
Where have I been? You could be wondering…
Who the fuck cares? Most would reply…
Well I want to sum it up for you real quickly if that’s alright with you. I’m sick of it, I’m over it, & I will not BORE you with the deets.
I’ve been here. Right here, all along. Trying to come up with something funny to tell you. Coming up b-l-a-n-k.
The only thing I’ve been able to concentrating on is my head hurting. Yup. That’s all. I’ve had a headache, or headaches…depends on the way you look at it. Do you consider the hour, a couple of times a week that this monster dies down as a pause from the same headache or the beginning of a new one?
Something good that has come from these chronic daily migraines, or cluster headaches, or occipital nerve problems, or sleeping disorders or all the above- has been that now with the oodles of knowledge my achy head has absorbed resulting directly from the vast tests, doctors appointments, medicines, side-effects from medicines, & WebMD searches I have earned my faux PhD.
I’m not really a Dr I just play one, all the time. It annoys the shit out of everyone.
For reals, ask my friends & family. I have already diagnosed 1 with postpartum, 3 with allergies, 1 with bipolar disorder, 1 with a drug addiction, 1 with sleep deprivation, 1 with multiple personality disorder -after I found her face attached to a motorcycle magazine “models” body- & all of this just within the last couple days.
I still have research to do with a couple of cases I’m working on but you’ll be the 1st to know when I’ve “House’d” the shit out of the others.
With all the diagnostic work going on around here you can see how I have run out of time for much else. ie: laundry, dishes, bathing.
I also have come across a down-side to being a stay-at-home-over-the-web/email-Doc.
I fear that those living in the blocks surrounding my house have come to view me as the crazy old bitch that never leaves the house & more than likely is sitting in her house full of cats peeking out the window @ the neighborhood goings-on…
#1, I do leave my house, sometimes. To smoke usually…remind me to tell you about how my father-in-law spotted a real-life fire that I started last weekend… but don’t tell my mom, if I haven’t already, I can’t remember.
#2, I leave at LEAST, 4 times a week to take the kids to school & for Dr’s appointments, sooooo, suck it.
Sorry for the bad mouth on my 1st day back. I’m a skootch uptight about this subject at the moment. I’m not a normally teary person & I can only guess it’s from the 3+ days I’ve gone sans Zoloft. I forgot to have it refilled, again.
I only really noticed it when I felt that bizarre tingling in my face, my nose & then my eyes got blurry…
What’s this? Another “migraine” symptom?! I bolted to my computer yelling out to google…
Holy moly…not headache symptom… I was tearing up. Besides the Zoloft what set me off? It dawned on me & then I was pissed. Then that made my eyes want to leak too. I’m debating tearing up because I may have made an azz out of myself this evening in front of the neighbors.
Don’t know their names because they’ve only lived there for like a year & I don’t take part in meeting many new people.
I really never know what’s going to come out of my mouth so I just stay away…especially if it’s people who I may have to see all the time. What if I need someone to tell me my front porch is on fire. -again?
I’m not saying I’m some loose cannon or anything cool like that. -filled with danger & dripping with mystery.
I only get crazy on the blog because I can’t see your reactions as I’m talking.
Otherwise there’s a good chance (unbeknownst to me…until way too late) I’d be attempting to adjust my conversation by the look on your face which really somehow still comes out sounding like the same jacked-up story it always would have been but I’d be adjusting the tone of my voice up & down so much that we’d all be nauseous by the time I was done.
That, and I would mispronounce perfectly normal words. For example instead of the word “e X ample” I would have said (probably more than once), “ex TH -ample”. No matter that I’ve never had an issue with that word before in my life.
So instead of meeting new people, I just choose to keep it to myself.
Keep friends that I’ve known forever. -or met while drunk at the bar. No worries about anyone remembering the conversations that went down not the random turrets/speech issue.
Oh crap. I’m tired. I’ll have to tell you about the neighbors tomorrow, promise.