Below you will find my Choices for Shu Shu’s Back to school wear. I was unable to get out Thursday, (big surprise) so I’ve been amping up for tomorrow!
Thank God someone let me in on the little secret! Back to school is right around the corner & I couldn’t be more ready – I mean the kids couldn’t be more ready!
I have been suffering all damn summer from my usual headaches & when you combine that with the Bitty Man’s feeding schedule along with this hellish heat, you get 3 people who have come down with a terrible case of cabin fever.
I may take them tomorrow to scope out the back-to-school shopping scene. I haven’t been shopping in so long, I may have forgotten how! Don’t worry though, I’ve kept myself pretty caught up on the latest trends for fall. Yes, I am one of those people who thinks that tots, dressed like mini grownups are one of God’s most awesome gifts.
I have Shu Shu’s entire wardrobe already planned out in my head. Now it’s a just matter of finding everything I will need to fill up the dresser drawers. Sort of a fashion scavenger hunt. Home-girl has grown more this summer than I think she did her 1st five years. So she needs new EVERYTHING!! I’m stoked.
My inspiration for Princess Shu Shu’s Back-to-School “looks” I would describe as Geek-Chic -meets- Prep School -meets- Modern Military -meets- Jet Setting Luxe -meets- Over the River & Through the Woods -meets- Our Grandmother’s Vintage Throw.
What the F does that mean? You’ll have to check back with me. I’ll show you!
P.S. Why not nearly as excited to begin the Bitty Man’s wardrobe?
1.) Boys clothes, though much better than in the past, are still a bit less thrilling.
2.) I do have plans for him but before I can even ALLOW him to skip off to school there is something more important that needs to be tackled. Yes, more important than clothes even. I have to figure out how to get him to quit using the F-word. Wish me luck!
I have been working on something. Here, behind the scenes. Please be patient. Hopefully it will be worth the wait! uh, but Don’t hold your breath.
Good morning, good morning! Some of you might be wondering what the frick has happened to me. Most of you won’t have noticed I was absent, which is fine too.
I couldn’t really tell you whether I’ve been crazy busy w/ little-to-no time to think of anything to write -or- if I’ve had so LITTLE going on that I have nothing, not even a good grocery store story to share -or- if I’ve been in Barbados with my husband celebrating a belated 6 year anniversary trip.
Well, I guess I can tell you it wasn’t the last one. Though we did just celebrate 6 blissful years together. Who knows when those years will be, probably not for another decade or so, but we went ahead & celebrated them anywho. -kidding…
I think my life at the moment may be a little of both. Too crazy at times to think about setting down & sharing… & then when the crazy dies down, it’s so damn boring that my mind can not think of anything I would possibly deem worthy of any you reading.
Yesterday, I did have an experience that I will share. Don’t get too excited here.
I heard the girl holler to me from the bathroom.
*Never a good sign, since she is now almost fully in charge of her own wiping… especially if when she begins to yell you can’t find her brother.
“Ahhh, he’s trying to put som-ting in the toilet!”
Here we go again.
Upon entry to the bathroom I am faced with my two kids. 1 screaming & the other with a smug look on his face, almost a smile.
I look into the toilet & see a fuzzy ball.
*Fuzzy balls at our house are used as a form of bribery, currency, an incentive for good behavior which can be later traded in for treats & toys. This should be no surprise that neither child has accumulated enough to cash in.
Since the ball is little & I have zero plans to stick my hand in her pee for anything less than a cell phone, I flush.
Shu Shu screams holding her hand out, “NooOOooOOOoo!!”
As the yellow & gold ball swirls around the toilet for the last time before being sucked down the drain, the boy breaks his silence.
…and with 1 snap of his tongue – 1 finger gun – 1 air kick & 1 wink he shouts, “BOO-YA!”
The irony of him flushing his “good behavior reward” has not be lost here. I would laid the smack down here if he were not just so damn cute.
While I was making the weekly grocery list out I remembered something I had meant to share. This is more for the fellas who, for some reason read my blog. Well, it’s for those fellas that are reading my blog and looking for love in all the wrong places. Like the grocery store.
Remember when tv shows used to say something about meeting people in the produce aisle, like it happened all the time? Weird. The only people who really have hit on me at the grocery store have been the teen aged boys refilling the produce aisle. …and that’s only after I’ve had a spray tan. I’m serious. I am never given a second look unless I have recently been sprayed. (Let me know if anyone is looking for an amazing spray tan. I’ll give you my girl’s name.)
Anyway, I pulled up to the grocery store & parked my car. At the same time a dude, a little older than me (25) was parking in front of me. He had two kids in the car with him that were probably a few years older than my own. Did I mention he was driving a Geo Tracker? This may seem like a small detail to some but to me, this is a huge part of what helped me determine exactly what I was dealing with.
And what was that you ask? A dude driving a Geo Tracker.
I don’t mean to offend anyone out there that is a fan of this pint-sized, out dated car that screams I’m the coolest 16-year-old on the block. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought had it not been a man who later would confirm my suspicions of douche bag-ed-ness.
So he’s pulling in at the same time that I am. I can tell before even getting out of my car that he’s arguing with the two kids in the backseat. I laugh to myself, for a second I’m giving him a small gift of empathy…in my mind.
Once I’m out of the car & can actually hear him & all that support I was handing him …in my mind, was gone.
The last thing I heard him scream at the kids was, “I SAID LOCK THE DOORS!!”
Had he not been growling at the kids nonstop, he may have heard little Timmy point out that the bomb ass tracker they had pulled up in had no sides. No top. What was the point of locking doors? (not to mention it’s a geo tracker. the only reason anyone else would be close to it would be to snap a pic with their phone to later post to facebook.)
–Running into one of those is as likely as seeing a double rainbow. or a 4 leaf clover. or a unicorn.–
So as I walk in, I decide that this guy is dumb. Lock the doors. What a goob.
In the produce aisle I ran into this clan once again. Literally. I almost ran right over little Timmy w/ my cart. Which is no big deal, I typically run into at least 1 kid while shopping.
The guy, I’ll say it was his father. I don’t really know for sure. He didn’t have his birth certificate on him.
His father, grabs him out from in front of my cart, which he clearly had jumped in front of & apologized to me.
“No prob bob,” I tell him while I continue my way to the pork chop display.
As soon as I pass by, I can hear the father, yet again, yelling.
“Hey, you watch where you are going! Are you a baby or something?! Are you a baby that needs to ride up in the fwont seat wike a widdle baby would?” I could have punched him in the face I was so annoyed. Not only by his shitty attitude but for his terrible baby talk impression. he continued to beat this poor dead horse, “Huh, are you? Are you a widdle baby?”
Irritated, I glanced up at this family. The father gave me some creepy, 1/2 smile as if his ability to embarrass his 6-year-old in public was turning me on.
I gave him my best (which is really damn good) “you’re a complete douche bag & deserve to live alone for the rest of your life” look & kept it moving.
Moral of the story here fellas, if there are any fellas that still read– is that women… ok, MOST women, will not find berating a child in public to be a quality that is desired in a man. Period. Most women are built with a maternal chip inside of us that will instead, make us want to throw acid on you- not rip our shirts off.
Word to your mother.
Once upon a time, (5 yrs ago) in a land far, far, away (Lee’s Summit) a little tiny 8lb 4oz angle was about to make her debut. It was Princess Shu Shu Fontain. Though she would prove to be a stubborn little thing, the entire kingdom was eagerly awaiting her arrival.
After 18 hours of waiting for her to peek her head out of her toasty warm womb the Queen grew impatient. She commanded her royal subjects to go in after the hard-headed Princess & drag her out kicking & screaming.
It was a long wait but she had finally arrived & forever changed the lives of the King & the beautiful Queen. -Had I mentioned the Queen was beautiful?
5 Years later, we celebrated the Princess’s birth with a jubilee, at Chuck E. Cheese.
Tues was a nice, quiet day. Well, it would have been quiet if the kids were gone, but it was a day with out ANY appointments.
I was outside when I remember how silly it was that Shu knew the date yesterday… HOLD UP- DID SHE SAY YESTERDAY WAS THE 14TH??! -Oh, wait- shit what time is it? 12:27? Today’s the 15???
I ran to my calander. Dread set in. I have missed MY OWN Dr’s appt by 27 mother f’ing minutes. I had been on the waiting list for this Dr for 2 months when I decided to call to see how much more waiting would be required. Then I missed the damn appointment.
Worst part is getting “a-talkin-to” from the gal that scheduals appointments on how if I missed another I would be kicked out of the neurology patients who are patient club.
Good news was that she was going to give me 1 last chance. On the 14th.
of August. Sweet.
Nothing much to report here except my husband was in our room while I was getting ready to, I don’t know… go somewhere, I guess. I pulled my spanx up & already knew there would be something coming out of his mouth about my dearest friend.
I’ll be the 1st to admit that I’m a bit protective of my spanx.
“Do you wear those things every time you leave the house?”
I growled at him, “You’re…just…jealous.”
“…of your spanx? Why?”
“You’re just jealous that they get more ass from me than you do.”
then I don’t remember what happened after that.
ok, sorry, I thought for a minute that I had these from last week set to auto-post. I didn’t.
(the 14th apparently)
Monday, so I already told you all about the 1st part of the day. (remember, it was awesome? little dude had tests, sweet traffic situation heading downtown, bomb ass parking spot, test turned out not to suck, had good results, AND we were outta there before the time we were scheduled to start, AND didn’t get that speeding ticket I so deserved… now you remember, right?)
Well, in the spirit of equality, my husband and I decided to give the girl of ours a test too. Didn’t want her to get jealous or anything. We asked her if she knew how to spell ‘bathroom’.
She replied with, “Uh, No. -but I know that today is the 14th.”
She was on to us with that 1 question.
The little student in her is just dying to read & write. She perhaps was just practicing? Below is the door to our bathroom.
She DID admit to us that it was her. We were really hoping for an awesome, crazy Shu Shu story about her brother doing it. No we got the truth. She said she wanted people to be able to find the bathroom.
and daddy’s smoker. I guess.
I have not written in a minute, so I thought since I have a second, (I don’t really) I would just sorta sum up my week. I’m not at all sure how this will turn out… soo-
UPDATE: it turned out long, so I will post each exciting, exhilarating day separate so you don’t overload on awesome.
Happy Mother’s Day! This year, I do belive this was the greatest one I’ve had yet. I was allowed to sleep in, I then woke up to a beautiful family, which once I got the eye-boogs wiped away, I saw that it was MY family!
Those darlings had come bearing gifts. I received a card picked out by my baby boy & signed/decorated by both kids, I got a card from my dear husband
I got the youngest cousin of my very favorite pudding cake from P Chop (I love red velvet. Suckers only had strawberry cream cheese -it was a good enough sub.) and last I got a pair of Mizzou sweats that I had dropped hints to the little ones about for weeks.
Honestly, I never saw the allure of huge baggy ass sweats. Never. I’ve always been a yoga pants sort of gal, but let me tell you folks, as I sat there…on my couch…shoving strawberry cake into my mouth, I was thanking my lucky stars that such an amazing pair of huge soft sweats existed AND that they were on my ass.
Once I demolished the cake, I took a bad-ass nap. My husband took the kids outside so they would not wake me by arguing over toilet paper as Shu Shu drops a deuce in MY bathroom. –That part didn’t work, but he tried.
Once I “officially” woke up, I was presented with steak, scallops, shrimp & pasta… right to my bed -no I’m kidding, to my table.
So yes, this was my favorite one yet. A day filled with a few of my favorite things, sleep + kids home (but outside) + sweats + cake + more sleep + fat amazing dinner = fat happy mama. Hope you all had a great one as well!
So we are home already!
1st of all we had the appointment scheduled @ 9 am & we were home by 9:04 so that’s pretty dag good.
2nd- his fundo is still doing great, canceling out idea of having to redo with surgery.
3rd- he did NOT have to have the barium go down via mouth…but just injected into the mickey button. I wish I had known, it would have saved me some nervous tummy-butterflies & toilet paper. I told Little Man I was happy for him, but I told my husband that I was pissed that he still has yet to endure any procedure, shot, test for either kids…-ever. Ok he may have been present at the surgeries…
4th- the barium normally will stop their booties up pretty good but the dr just sucked that shit (no pun intended but you are welcome to read it as such) right back out -so it shouldn’t be bad.
5th- I got an awesome parking spot.
6th- traffic was a breeze, the trip downtown during morning rush hour is not usually very fun.
7th- I TOTALLY <almost> got pulled over on the trip home because I was super distracted thinking about all of the many reasons this morning had gone so bomb-tastically. By the time I noticed the cop & his mighty radar gun, I was rounding 75 in a 65. He shut his door & pulled onto the highway. Oh frick. Plus my dag husband is in the car, so God only knows how long I’m going to have to hear about this. I eased over to the slow lane for easy access to pull over once I was hit with the lights & as the cop rolled up I noticed he was comin up quicker than needed. I had all but pulled over & gotten out my license & registration. Oh Snap! He was getting the minivan in front of us. Sucker.
As you can see, clearly laid out before you, this day is going pretty damn well. Please do not (if you know me outside of blog-world) come over &/or call me with any drama that could piss me off and ruin a good thing. Save that drama fo yo mama, although I’m sure she’d tell you to take a flyin leap too.
* I guess this picture is an animal, I just noticed that it was from a vet school. Oh well, you get the idea.